Your experience closely resembles mine. Due to the simplicity of vSAN, however, I've decided to stick with it rather than set up storage VMs. Its performance is good enough for my uses currently.
My setup is a 2-node robo-cluster with a witness host, so it's mirrored, and I've deduplication enabled. In DiskMark I get anywhere from 1.0 to 1.5 GB/s read and between 130 to 330 MB/s write speeds. It's oddly inconsistent at the extremes, and I haven't figured out what that's about... maybe temperatures affecting the NVRAM cache drive at different times of day (I live in the south, daytime heat can be a biatch).
I needed a temporary iSCSI space for something in the lab recently and intalled an instance of Starwind on top of the vSAN datastore with 8gb RAM and deduplication. After a few seconds the inline dedup kicks in and I was seeing better writes than on the vSAN datastore itself. If I had dedicated storage hardware I would put SW on it no doubt, but I don't like its "hyperconverged" configuration.