Au contraire! ... Did you expect to find postings like "I've got this mobo and the bios has this option and it works."? Like Jell-o, it's hard to screw up bifurcation. It's dead simple.
I believe you've "thrown the baby (ie, bifurcation) out with the bathwater (the AOC-SLG3-2E4R)". Something on that redriver card is not playing nice with the X9DRI-F.
Consider canceling the 2E4 (@$150-200?) and getting instead either:
1. PCIe x8 to 2x SFF-8643 adapter (w/1 cable)
[Link] for $45.
or 2. PCIe x16 to 4x SFF-8643 adapter
[Link] for $35.
I understand, and appreciate, your hesitancy to buy from unknown/distant sellers. I am quite risk-averse myself. But, after seeing that others (on STH) had purchased from each of the above sellers, I also did,
with no regrets. (In both cases, delivery was <17 days after order.)
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I'm not cheap -- I'm capital-efficient.