Okay, so I have half fixed the issue.
1. I changed port, split that port and now it works when I plug that into another switch and other devices.
2. My Epyc server does NOT like it and won't link!
I may have misconfigured the split before, but on my other switch I did need to set it to not auto-negotiate, I am now confident it's not really the switch that's having an issue. FYI these are Molex DACs, I have two, one is working fine with a SAN and the other is NOW working fine with everything except the Epyc server.
So, I might need to create a new thread, but while I have your attention:
It's a known good ConnextX-4LX EN running in ETH mode, I have one port connected at 25G and previously had the other port connected fine to one of those little Mikrotik CRS305 4+1 switches via an single lane 10G IOPlex DAC. The 25g link from the server is to my NAS which is also running a QNAP CX4 (QXG-25G2SF-CX4) and having no issues negotiating with the same DAC and switch on its other port!
I've set ethtool -s <dev> 10000 autoneg off and that doesn't fix it?! Nothing else wants flow control, or any other settings other than the switch which wanted me to turn off autoneg and set 10G.
> Speed: Unknown!
> Link detected: no (Cable issue, unsupported cable)
I'm still confused, and I'd suspect the DAC, except it's working fine with another non-breakout DAC to another off-brand switch. I haven't yet tried a single lane 10G DAC connected to a (Mellanox) QSFP to SFP+ adapter, that's my next diagnostic step. It would be weird if that works.