So is there any such card that doesn't cost more than say $100 equivalent that lets me connect 4xM.2 SSDs?
Yes. If you only need 4 M.2, an Asus HyperM2, or the Shenzen "no-name" equivalent ,will just do that, together with a Ryzen CPU (or EPYC 4000) which supports x4x4x4x4 bifurcation on the PCIe x16 slot.
Active cards with a PCIe switch let you use any CPU (including Intel or Ryzen APU, which can only do x8x4x4), put these 4 M.2 in a x8 slot and/or connect more than 4 M.2.
you can still kind of compare them if one has TDP 80 and one say 65
Not even. You can compare across AMD CPUs because they have some consistency: Maximal power is 135% of TDP. Intel CPUs used to have max. powet at 150% TDP, but now there are some which top at 250-300% TDP, which is totally insane. No comparison was ever possible between Intel and AMD because the two actually define "TDP" differently.
Now, as said, max power is largely irrelevant; what matters most to a NAS is
idle power, and idle power is totally unrelated to TDP.
On this metric, Intel CPUs are actually excellent: Your E-2136 (and pretty much any Core or Xeon E) idles lower than any Ryzen CPU—because the I/O die has high idle power. For
low idle power on the AMD side, you have to look at Ryzen
APUs with a monolithic die, which then brings two caveats: Only the PRO APUs support ECC UDIMM (which may or may not matter to you), and bifurcation is limited to x8x4x4 (meaning you do need a PCIe switch card for your 4 M.2, coming with extra cost, say $200 for PCIe 3.0 or $800 for PCIe 4.0, and extra power draw).