Update on this for anyone in my same situation, but I just confirmed that the riser 5C50W00933 works with the m90q gen 5, and also this setup is compatible with an x520-da2 dual 10gbe sfp+ nic. Even though this riser isn't listed as compatible, it has the same number of pins that fit the m90q gen5. Lenovo's site also says this riser works in place of 5C50W00910. I originally was going to get the 910, but Lenovo's site was sold out, and suggested the 33 instead. Both have the same pinout. Gave it a shot, and it worked!
Some additional notes, not sure if any of this is useful, or maybe just a coincidence, but these steps got it to work for me.
1) after installing, it would freeze on bootup, at the part where it says it's initializing ram. I went into bios, turned off secure boot, booted into recovery mode. Then restarted, and it worked, and i turned back on secure boot. I assume it detected the change in hardware, which caused the boot to fail.
2) initially the sfp+ ports weren't working, but proxmox could detect it and had all the details on it. My switch said it was dropping rx, and looks like it got disabled. I was thinking it's due to an unsupported sfp+ module, I modifed the ixgbe.conf file to allow for unsupported that that didn't help. I then came across the command ip link set <<interface>> up. I tried it on my interfaces, and it magically started working, my switch indicated it was active with a 10gbe connection. btw, my interface names are enp1s0f0 & enp1s0f1.
3) After getting things active, I wasn't able to connect to the network with it. So I plugged in the 1gbe port, and went to the web ui, under your proxmox node => system=> network, I had to set the ports as bridge ports. Then everything worked, and iperf3 showed 10gbe speeds!